God in Retrospect - by Erin NeSmith

God in retrospect is my favorite thing…seeing how He strings together a series of happenings that culminate in life-giving, magnificent ways that we had no idea about when the chain of events began. You, like me, probably have story upon story of God-ordained circumstances that, at first glance, look very much like an uncomfortable trial, a frustrating turn of events or an annoying detour that you reluctantly had to take. Yet, these stories’ beginnings look very different from their endings. Redemption, restoration, clarity and hope are very typically the ways these stories end. Isn’t it funny how finite our minds are from moment to moment compared to God’s infinite wisdom in seeing exactly how to turn our mourning into dancing, how to work all things out for our good?

As I write this, I find myself at the beginning of a new chapter in my overall story. And, of course, this beginning has an all-too-familiar cloudiness. It looks grim and bleak and like perhaps not all well end up going as smoothly as I would like it to. If I were the author of my own story it might be way too boring for a bookshelf because the path I would lay out for myself would not be fraught with so much drama and so many unknowns. I would certainly not leave myself in the dark, wondering which path leads to the right answer.

Oh, and then there is that…the “right answer”. “God’s will for your life” is sometimes made to sound like He is sitting up there playing a board game watching as you end up tumbling down a chute instead of climbing a ladder. But I don’t think our God is a God of “right answers” and I don’t think He has only one will for our lives at any given decision or juncture of our journey. I think that His character and His ways are much softer than all that.

I think “God’s will” might look something more like…

Freedom

“Jesus told this simple story, but they had no idea what he was talking about. So he tried again. ‘I’ll be explicit, then. I am the Gate for the sheep. All those others are up to no good—sheep stealers, every one of them. But the sheep didn’t listen to them. I am the Gate. Anyone who goes through me will be cared for—will freely go in and out, and find pasture. A thief is only there to steal and kill and destroy. I came so they can have real and eternal life, more and better life than they ever dreamed of.’” John 6-10 (MSG) 

What a good dad to come to give us the right to go in AND out and find pasture (to provide a place to be filled and tended to…this in and of itself could be a full sermon!). To be the familiar voice that we are drawn to, yet also be the gate that will swing wide open with our coming and our going. My questions here would be: Are you in a coming phase or a going phase? Are you being tended to in that field, being filled by the Holy Spirit in preparation for your next journey, or are you full and ready to go out and experience that real and abundant life that is more and better than you have ever dreamed?

Goodness

“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” Philippians 4:8 (NIV) 

“But what happens when we live God’s way? He brings gifts into our lives, much the same way that fruit appears in an orchard—things like affection for others, exuberance about life, serenity. We develop a willingness to stick with things, a sense of compassion in the heart, and a conviction that a basic holiness permeates things and people. We find ourselves involved in loyal commitments, not needing to force our way in life, able to marshal and direct our energies wisely.” Galatians 5:22-23 (MSG)

God gives us the qualities above along with the fruits of the spirit to dwell on and focus on. These morally sound and good things come from God alone. I believe that His will is wide open with many choices as long as our choices line up with these things that God says He wants for us and out of us. So then, the question here is: Does it honor God? (Whatever it is.) If “it” perpetuates the things mentioned in these passages then I believe it to be pleasing and permissible… in fact I believe it is ”God’s will for our lives”.

Graciousness

“Meanwhile, the moment we get tired in the waiting, God’s Spirit is right alongside helping us along. If we don’t know how or what to pray, it doesn’t matter. He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our wordless sighs, our aching groans. He knows us far better than we know ourselves, knows our pregnant condition, and keeps us present before God. That’s why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good.” Romans 8:26-28 (MSG)

When the beginning of the story feels painfully long…the waiting, the questioning, the uncertainty…we can get very weary, very fast. (As I write this, these are my sentiments exactly). But, knowing that God’s spirit is right there, interceding on our behalf, sustaining us in our weariness and that God is orchestrating a beautiful melody with our seemingly flubbed notes is pretty much the most gracious thing He could do for us in that time. And so the questions: Can you be comforted by the reality that God’s spirit is speaking for you when you are too overcome to speak for yourself? Can you find comfort in knowing that He sees where you are, He is there with you and He will always have a plan to turn all things into good for you?

Remembrance of the past is sometimes the best way to hope for the future. I can’t pretend that my current circumstances don’t plague me, that they don’t consume me with grief or worry or even anger. I can’t will myself into a good place for the sake of appearing holy and without doubt. I believe that being honest and open with God and others is the only authentic way to live from moment to moment (and sometimes that might look a little like Debbie Downer). But, even in those times, you can confidently claim what God has done in the past with choices and consequences alike…how He paved the way to meeting your mate, how He provided in your time of need, how He healed in miraculous ways, how He timed your precious child’s arrival into your world, how He satisfied your desires in the past, how He fulfilled your wants and covered your needs. How he weaved a tapestry out of little strings along the way that you didn’t even know related to each other in any way. While you aren’t God and don’t know what the future looks like, you know the One who does. And no matter what, He will make it good.

The lyrics to the hymn below speak to this idea of God in retrospect. It speaks to the character of the One who created us and who has our back at all times. While I despise the unknowns I face this minute, I am giddy with excitement about seeing God here in retrospect.

Be still, my soul,
The Lord is on your side.
Bear patiently, the cross of grief or pain.
Leave to your God, to order and provide.
In every change He faithful will remain.
Be still, my soul,
Your best your heavenly friend,
Through thorny ways leads to a joyful end.
Be still, my soul,
Your God will undertake
To guide the future as He has the past.
Your hope, your confidence let nothing shake.
All now mysterious shall be bright at last.
Be still, my soul,
The waves and winds still know
His voice who ruled them while He lived below.
Be still, my soul,
Be still, my soul,
Be still.